George MacDonald, a nineteenth-century Scottish writer, pastor, and novelist was a spiritual mentor to C.S. Lewis. His 366 sonnets, hand-written and later published as Diary of An Old Soul has been my devotional companion for many years. The richness of meaning and spiritual depth of these sonnets have light penetrating into every corner of the human heart. One of the sonnets that has settled deeply within me and resonates over and over again is as follows:

There is a coward sparing in the heart,
Offspring of penury and low-born fear-
Prayer must take heed nor overdo its part,
Asking too much of him with open ear!
Sinner must wait, not seek the very best,
Cry out for peace, and be of middling cheer-
False heart, thou cheatest God, and dost thy life molest. (91)¹

With the unimpeded rise of Christian triumphalism, this sonnet turn prayer is more urgent than ever. Triumphalism is an over confident brand of religious enthusiasm that is disguised as faith and concern for God and His glory. In reality, this façade is success-oriented and is preoccupied with the believer’s personal victory. Inherently, it is an assumption of victory based on zeal and personal vision rather than on a Biblical calculation of God’s ultimate purpose and intention.

The last person we ever come to confront is ourselves. “There is a coward sparing in the heart” – that’s the reason. We’ll do anything to avoid locating this coward and calling it out by name. It lurks and maneuver in all the possible terrains of life. In all likelihood, we have not in the days of grace plunged deep enough to know that we’re “offspring of penury and low-born fear,” and that “prayer must take heed nor overdo its part.” Triumphalism is the overdoing of a self-centered heart bent on achieving all I can in the name of God. In such a mode and pattern, we are set on a course of a self-assured mantra of “God will give and God will bless.” Due to this, we’re ever further away from realizing that “sinners must wait, not seek the very best, cry out for peace, and be of middling cheer.”

In the wise Providential ordering of the Father, “blows and beatings” permissively come visiting our souls, seeking and searching out the “false heart” that “cheatest God” in ways we have purportedly convinced ourselves to be God’s ways. A man cannot sustain a life having cheated God and not come to a form of self-abuse and eventually conceit – “dost thy life molest”.

His “blows” and His “beatings” are the safest. They have only one end in view: “to make clean the innermost part”.

¹ MacDonald, George. Diary of an Old Soul. Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress, 1994. Print.